Great Quote. But Who Really Said It?

Let's get curious about what people actually said

“Do the best you can until you know better. And when you know better, do better.”

Friends, today I have what Taylor Swift would call a quill pen story for you.

It may not be as fun as getting to the bottom of a famous 1990s song or college football traditions, but I’m sharing it because it was something I was genuinely curious about — and because I believe it’s important.

Have you ever heard the Henry Ford quote:

I was at an event recently where a panelist mentioned it.

And it got me curious.

Did Henry Ford really say that? And if so, when? 

Luckily, I remembered visiting the Henry Ford Museum in Michigan when I was a kid.

Maybe they’d know…

So I contacted them.

Henry Ford said a lot of wise words, but not everything he gets credit for

They very nicely told me they don’t verify Ford’s quotes, as “quotes attributed to him were varied and often unsubstantiated.”

But – they did share that they maintain a database of 200 Henry Ford quotations on their website, with citations.

There you’ll see that Henry said, “There is no failure except failure to serve one’s purpose” in 1923 and “To be good is not enough; a man must be good for something” in 1924.

But among the list, there are no quotes about horses.

I thought about people whose quotes I hear in leadership talks and events.

JFK. Martin Luther King, Jr. Winston Churchill.

And when it comes to women, the one I hear quoted most often is Maya Angelou.

Dr. Maya Angelou

And the quote I have heard attributed to Angelou at many a leadership event is:

“People may forget what you say. People may forget what you do. But people will never forget how you make them feel.”

It’s a great quote – and I agree with the sentiment.

It certainly sounds like something Maya Angelou could have said.

But did she say it?

I was curious…

I began searching, and found plenty of sites linking the quote to Dr. Angelou, but could not trace the quote back to any of Angelou’s books, speeches, or interviews.

But what I did find is a 2015 postage stamp from the US Postal Service, with Maya Angelou’s image and a quote they attributed to her.

“A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”

It certainly sounds like it could have been said by the writer of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

But, those aren’t Maya Angelou’s words.

Those are the words of Joan Walsh Anglund, from her 1967 book A Cup of Sun.

President Obama even misattributed that line to Angelou at the ceremony for the 2013 National Medal of Arts and National Humanities Medal.

After it was revealed that the words on the postage stamp weren’t actually Angelou’s, a spokesman for the USPS, told the Washington Post: 

“Had we known about this issue beforehand, we would have used one of [Angelou’s] many other works ...The sentence held great meaning for her and she is publicly identified with its popularity.”

But being identified with a quote is not the same thing as saying it.

But what about the “People may forget” quote?

According to the BBC, the first version of that quote dates back to 1971:

“They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

But it wasn’t said by Angelou. 

Carl W. Buehner

It was attributed to Carl W. Buehner, a high-level official in the Mormon Church, and included in Richard Evans’ Quote Book.

Versions of the quote then appeared in a 1989 book on marketing, a course on effective use of language, and various newspaper columns in the 1990s.

But something else happened in the 1990s. 

In 1991, H. Jackson Brown, Jr. wrote a book called Live and Learn and Pass It On: People Ages 5 to 95 Share What They’ve Discovered about Life, Love, and Other Good Stuff.

It included remarks like:

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy holiday, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” —Age 52

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.” —Age 53

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” —Age 64

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be a pain.” —Age 82

H. Jackson Brown

And this is where it gets really interesting.

Fast-forward to 2003, and these quotes from Brown’s book were now being attributed to Maya Angelou.  

A Georgia newspaper columnist wrote a piece sharing quotes that Angelou had “written in the year leading up to her 70th birthday”, including:

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights….

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life….

“I’ve learned… that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands … you’ll need to throw something back….

The article also included a quote that combined Buehner’s quote with one from Brown’s book:

“I’ve learned that… even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one … that people will forget what you said … what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou celebrated her 70th birthday in 1998 – seven years after Brown’s book was published.

But from this point, these quotes seemed to become Angelou’s.

Some articles claim she wrote them when she was 70.

Others said it was when she was 75.

But I found no article or interview that had me confident that Maya Angelou said the “People may forget” quote that is so often attributed to her.

But I was still curious…

After having had such success with Henry Ford’s museum, I reached out to Maya Angelou’s Foundation for help.

But instead of getting clarity on the quote’s origins, my query was forwarded to a licensing organization, who was more interested in getting my money than verifying the quote’s authenticity.

“I’m trying to understand why it is important to you and your company to know a particular quote by Dr. Angelou?” the Licensing Agency wrote me.

I explained I was looking for the source material, and was struggling to find a speech or article where Dr. Angelou had shared these words, though they were often attributed to her.  

“Our client does charge to use quotes by Dr. Maya Angelou in publications,” was the response I received.

But that didn’t answer my question.

They did not confirm any of her words, or cite any sources.

“Surely you do not charge to use quotes – or promote their use – if you cannot confirm Dr. Angelou actually said them?” I asked.

They did not respond.

I guess there’s money to be made in licensing quotes for mugs and T-shirts, whether they’re accurate or not.

But does it really matter? 

The US Postal Service didn’t seem bothered to promote a misattributed quote.

They didn’t even reissue her stamp with a quote she did say.

But history shows us that Dr. Angelou did care about quoting people accurately. 

In 2011, a Martin Luther King, Jr memorial was built in Washington D.C., and carved on the side of a 30-foot-tall granite statue was an inscription that quoted Dr. King:

“I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

But that’s not what King said.

What King actually said on February 4, 1968 in his lengthy sermon The Drum Major Instinct was:

“Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace. I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter.”

And do you know who was a vocal critic of this paraphrasing on King’s statue?

Maya Angelou.

The then-83-year-old told the Washington Post:

“The quote makes Dr. Martin Luther King look like an arrogant twit.

“He was anything but that. He was far too profound a man for that four-letter word to apply.

“He had no arrogance at all. He had a humility that comes from deep inside. 

“The ‘if’ clause that is left out is salient. Leaving it out changes the meaning completely.”

She said the quote should be changed – and in 2013, it was removed from the statue.

So while some of the quotes misattributed to Angelou seem sage and wise, she deserves what Martin Luther King Jr. deserved – accuracy.

And respect for the words she chose.

Maya Angelou wrote more than 30 books, including seven autobiographies

Dr. Angelou may have died in 2014, but she provided plenty of wisdom during her life that was recorded and documented.

We honor her legacy by sharing her words.

So the next time you see a quote attributed to someone famous, remember what Abraham Lincoln said:

One more thing…

I will leave you with my favorite Maya Angelou quote, one that I trust she said, because I saw the video where she said it to Oprah Winfrey in 1997:

“When people show you who they are, believe them.”

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I’m still thinking about…

I nearly shared this last week, but in case you missed it…

Johnson & Johnson has changed their logo — and whoever wrote their press release is really excited about their new ampersand!

They wrote: “The new ampersand captures a caring, human nature.”

I still like the script version, despite the new logo that I’m told “delivers both a sense of unexpectedness and humanity.”

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Recent Writing

Pop culture continues to inspire — and remind us how important communication skills are!

Did you hear about the $78 meal at Newark Airport? It was followed by an “apology” that wasn’t worth $78. Columnist David Brooks is #sorrynotsorry.

A Lesson on Apologies from Drew Barrymore: Drew got herself into some hot water, and then got out of it (sort of)

The Communication Lesson Joe Jonas Needs to Learn —Oh Joe, I wasn’t a Sucker for your PR campaign..

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How Can I Help?

I’ll keep saying it: Communication matters.

(If you’re not convinced, read any of the three stories above!)

Poor communication costs you — money, relationships and your reputation.

But if you want to improve your communication (and get all the good things that come with that), I’m your gal.

So many companies could reap significant benefits – from performance and culture to retention and engagement – by improving their communication.

So, if you know someone who could benefit from some help (as even the most seasoned leaders do), please get in touch and check out my website for more information.

You can also see my Top 10 list of what I can (and can’t) do for you here.

And if you see any communication examples (the good, the bad, and the ugly) that you think are worth analyzing or sharing, please send them my way!

Until next time, Stay Curious!

-Beth