Is This The Best Graduation Advice Of All Time?
It's been 25 years - but these words still resonate
Several months before I and my fellow seniors graduated from DePauw University, we were asked to review a list of possible commencement speakers and vote for the person we’d like to hear from.
There were a lot of big name people on the list —including world leaders and… Tom Hanks.
Now, how does a small liberal arts school in Indiana get an Oscar-winning actor to be a commencement speaker?
Easy.
CASH.
So we were all surprised that May when our commencement speaker was announced.
It was not any of the names we were floated.
Instead, our speaker was an old rich guy we’d never heard of—who happened to be an alum of our school.
And I don’t remember anything he said to us on that sunny Sunday afternoon.
But I do remember a speech I read a few years earlier.
You may know it, too.
It’s widely remembered for two words:
Wear Sunscreen.
But who gave that speech? And what’s the story behind it?
I was curious…
The ‘Wear Sunscreen’ speech has been credited to both author Kurt Vonnegut and director Baz Luhrmann. Excerpts of it have also been attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.
But in fact, ‘Wear Sunscreen’ was written by Mary Schmich.
And it’s not really a speech at all — well, not one that was given formally to a class of graduating students.
Mary, a Chicago Tribune columnist, wrote the piece for the newspaper in 1997, saying that:
‘Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading.’
In the early days of the internet, Mary’s speech became a viral email. Except her words were falsely attributed to Kurt Vonnegut, and a speech he gave at MIT’s commencement ceremony.
Even Vonnegut’s wife believed her husband had given the speech, and congratulated him for his wise words.
But Vonnegut was never MIT’s commencement speaker, and the words were all Mary’s, even if the style felt like it could have been written by the author of Slaughterhouse-Five.
Film director Baz Luhrmann was credited for the speech after he took the words and put them to music. The song ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’ contains Mary’s advice, and was popular from the US to Europe.
But despite all the confusion over the credit, Mary’s been a good sport for decades.
“It has never for a minute bothered me that people think Kurt Vonnegut wrote it,” she said.
“It’s never bothered me that people think Baz Luhrmann wrote it, because he’s never claimed he did. He gave it a life that I never could’ve dreamed of.”
Mary’s words have stayed in my mind since I read them in 1997.
And I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I do.
Here they are:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Mary began working for the Chicago Tribune in 1985, and became a columnist in 1992. She received a Pulitzer Prize in 2012, and left the Tribune in 2021.
FUN FACT: Mary was even a clue on Jeopardy! in 2019.
I’m taking a little break, but will be back with more stories in a couple of weeks!
Until then, stay curious!
Recent Work and Writing
When Will It Be Enough? — After another school shooting, I ask what has to happen for Americans to demand a change?
Three Tips for Better Networking — Are your in-person networking skills rusty? Here are three tips to help you – plus some of my oddest networking experiences.
Stop Firing People This Way — Letting people go isn’t easy, but it’s important to invest time time in doing it as well as you can. Here are five tips to help.
What Do I Do? — My work might be much easier to explain if I’d chosen a different profession, so I decided to try another approach to answer this question.
How Can I Help?
I’ll keep saying it: Communication matters.
How much?
Well, HSBC is in full damage control mode now after one of their execs asked, ‘Who cares if Miami is six feet underwater in 100 years?’ in a speech about climate risk at the Financial Times conference last week.
It’s so easy to make mistakes that cost you relationships, your reputation, and your job.
And good news, friends… If you want to improve your communication (and get all the good things that come with that), I’m your gal.
So many companies could reap so benefits – from performance and culture to retention and engagement – by improving their communication.
I help clients with communication strategy, planning, and thinking.
And I do the ‘doing’, too.
I also teach people the skills to help them become better communicators and leaders through 1:1 coaching and team workshops (that are effective – and fun!).
So, if you know someone who could benefit from some help (as even the most seasoned leaders do), please get in touch and check out my website for more information.
And if you see any communication examples (the good, the bad, and the ugly) that you think are worth analyzing or sharing, please send them my way!
Stay Curious!
-Beth
These simple truths are genius!
(Side note: I went down the rabbit hole and read your latest blog post on gun violence--powerful writing).
I know this song so well and never knew the back story. Thank you!